journal d'une transition

417

Ken has decided to leave Auroville for a while. He has been very disturbed and confused lately, struggling violently with some “occult” elements connected to the general situation… He comes in today asking to spend his last night in the house here… Diane is very uptight: she never shows hospitality in such situations and takes it instead as an imposition on her… But just then G.M and Marcia arrive and she rallies and it goes alright, and Ken is able to rest…

*4-4-1982, Auroville: Today the first cementing is done of the roof of the new room, the child’s room, Agni’s…!

*5-4-1982, Auroville: Krishna is worried about what may turn up, according to him, as a confrontation between the community and me… Perhaps he has heard things said, or else he is, for his own reasons, attuned to that possibility… I do not know… I feel distant from that drama now…

*6-4-1982, Auroville: Diane swings from one mood to another; she demands attention like a kid, she is sad and she cries; she is happy and takes part in the work here; she is like a victim… But the atmosphere in the house is evolving…

*7-4-1982, Auroville: Some time around 4 pm today a lovely little bird, orange and blue and grey, flew in to stand in Agni’s room, silent and unafraid… There was with it the presence of a gaze: a strange experience…

*8-4-1982, Auroville: This evening the white she-cat, a stray cat, comes to me and shows me she wants me to take an empty card-box up onto the terrace so she can deliver her kittens there… And she does, later tonight, right next to my pillow: two kittens for my birthday…! *9-4-1982, Auroville: I am 32… Diane has cleaned up the house all by herself. We have coffee outside the house and the Service tree drops its very first bloom right on my lap…! John H has written a poem for me.

D.M sends me a photograph of You, along with her card. We dance on Sunil’s music this morning, and I love it.

The masons plaster the ceiling of Agni’s room. Diane gives me more pictures of You, with a rose. Barbara brings more flowers. Ar. brings a potted plant and tapes of Satprem.