journal d'une transition

333

It is like every single moment that is saved from the mechanics of the usual conditionings and that is not swallowed in the bleak grinding of the “normal” physical consciousness, is a victory towards the true state of being… Yet it is not a “fight”, or a “struggle”: the heroism required is of another kind… There is urgency, however, in the sense that all that yields to the mechanics is unavoidably led from bad to worse; and, for the earth, the proportion of real progress MUST be made sufficient…! *28-7-1980, Auroville: Annappa wants me to help him mark the foundations of his house, early this morning… … We all see this afternoon how to repair and remodel the interior of “Eco House”, which Al and Navoditte have left badly neglected, and turn it into an administrative centre; Savitra has agreed to stay there as the keeper of the place… *29-7-1980, Auroville: The garden is in such beauty, everything growing lush hand vigorous, rising together in one grateful movement of offering held in a single harmony, and the house is part of it, and… I too am grateful…! … I study carefully wit the masons all the ingredients that must be mixed with the lime, and their exact proportions, so we can try this special plaster in C’s house… … Noh sends for me urgently: a band of about 35 SAS hired men have gone and grabbed hold of Peter’s tools and taken them away… Ed, Bill S and Patricia have been beaten up by those guys, who were armed with heavy stick and iron rods, and even tried to take Patricia’s clothes off… We gather near Bharat Nivas. The police haven’t done a thing to stop these louts. Quite a few of us have had enough! I feel we ought to take the whole think back to where it originated, in the Ashram itself… That we should load all these men in the tractor and take them down to SSJ’s house in the Ashram, in full view… To do something straight! A few of us catch Jyotiprem hiding behind the building and bring him over and into one of the rooms where we are already keeping most of those we have rounded up… I have a hard time of it, though; I sense only confusion, and no beauty, or nobility anywhere, not in the bodies, or in the faces, not in the jokes, nor in the eyes; and no clarity… The SP comes. There is no chance of a free, a freely chosen action… I loose all connection with the scene and leave… Back home, resting, I have to sort out my own ego-reactions… Soon G.M and Marcia join me, and G.M puts me back together with his tender humour… The police have taken all of our catch, Jyotiprem included…! … I go and talk to Kiran alone, because I feel that she has somehow the possibility to do something; she feels it too, but is at a loss as to how to find it expression, to make it effective… … After the rain, Annappa and Yel help me to lift some potted plants onto the terrace and, later, to place boulders under the tree next to the house, in the cool evening glow… … I yearn for beings that are whole and grow harmoniously and transparently, holding a ray of light in their substance… Not this weirdness, this assemblage of oddities…