journal d'une transition

332

When I see, early this morning, A collecting the hose pipe to water her plants even though it has rained, I go and ask her about it ; this gives us an opportunity – tense and charged but helpful, I think – to go over the events that have taken place between Krishna and I and between Krishna and her, and Phil’s attitude or role in it all; and perhaps this talk has cleared the air a bit… … After I have prepared the dinner, I attend the meeting at “Tapoloka”: about 175 signatures have now been listed for the “appeal” to the Central Government; its text has been revised and refined and there is now mention of Sir CPN Singh as our chosen intermediary… But I still feel uneasy about it all, and I choose to abide by my own feeling: if there is no joy, then there will be no commitment worth the name, a simple law which I want to follow more and more… Huta has asked Auroville to distribute her book, instead of the Ashram or the SAS: I find this a welcome step, meaningful… Then it is my turn, to introduce the list of “Newcomers”, one by one; I feel centred and poised and it goes well… Myrtle tells me later that it had brought a tone of work and of sharing that had been missing for a long time… Several people offer their help, too! *27-7-1980, Auroville: This morning for once I refused to go with the Guard to another of these scenes in the fields, with the SAS’s hired men trying to prevent our people from ploughing… Danny had just brought me that guy Helmut who has been flipping out in his room at the Pump House, so he could translate between us and we could try and sort out his situation… It is actually interesting: this fellow has very rigid ideas about sadhana and is therefore quite confused in the atmosphere of Auroville, but his heart is alive and he might yet find his way in the Ashram, perhaps… … I am working, quietly at home, on formulating simple basic guidelines for newcomers, which I would like to present at the next general meeting, guidelines that would be complemented with the statement on having no claims on any assets created in Auroville, which every one of us is meant to sign… … Savitra comes to ask whether he could stay here with me again – oddly he doesn’t seem to find his place – but, with Annappa already here, I feel it is enough at present… He tells me of his experience in Delhi, how he met with Indira, and with some of the top people in media, and about Kireet’s attitude and action there… For some reason I feel more and more uneasy and insecure whenever people here insist on talking about the Government’s possible “decisions” regarding Auroville, and all the more so since Karan Singh has proposed in the Parliament that Auroville should be turned into a Government Memorial to Sri Aurobindo…! I’d rather we were all very quiet and discreet and not attract attention for some time… … This afternoon someone runs into the garden: it is Chris Cat… after 10 years! He is working as a tourists guide and has just come here for a moment; he is intensely happy with what he is able to feel of the Force, of the “Energy” here… He stays wit me till evening; it is calm; he is, I find, inhabited with a living aspiration. He still remembers our time at “Beuvron” as the one strong and clear point of contact with that Future and the Force of it… It comforts me that, in at least that sense, my stay in France wasn’t altogether useless, that it may have served at least some purpose… … Glimpses of understanding, of the supreme importance of “Now”, every single minute, and how, little by little, both Past and Future may merge into one integral and continuous Becoming… of this Act, kingly and free, of co-creation…