journal d'une transition

201

heavier feelings and sentiments and movements; to flow with states of consciousness, in the inexhaustible wealth of conscious existence, here in Matter itself…; outgrowing the limits of humanness, a free sovereign being… Too soon people start moving and talking… I tuned to C.E, hoping to share with him in silence, but he isn’t available and instead makes some comment on a “nice shirt” a woman is wearing and at once I’m caught, well caught, in … too human a movement! Yet my body remained under the influence of that Calm and openness. I know “I” cannot do anything about it; that there is only one way, to be more and more given and united to the need… *27-4-1979, Auroville: While collecting flowers early this morning, I hear an airplane flying over and I suddenly remember a very vivid dream that I had not at all recalled when I tried as every morning upon waking to note down my sleep-activities – and it makes me wonder how many such dreams I “loose”…: I am standing on a sea-shore, just like in Pondy; there is a crowd of people massed along it until far into the streets that lead to it. There is anxiety written on every face and the sky becomes gloomy and the light is as of lightning’s and we see, going northward parallel to the shore and far into the sea, dozens and dozens of warships of different sizes, some very large, moving together as a herd, in an ominous silence. A man nearer to the shore starts informing everyone, as if he’d picked up the meaning of it in the air, but it felt true, that this is an action taken by India to show Thailand how to behave… I think I am with a small group of friends, or at least there are a few people to whom I feel closer compared to the crowd… It is a very striking dream… … The other day, in Pondy with C, I had “accidentally” met Miriam in a shop; she has not yet left, obviously. Later, to Al.B who was searching for someone who could take brochures to the US, I’d mentioned her eventual departure any day. This evening Al.B came to ask me to ride down to Pondy with him and see Miriam and ask her… He sits a moment with C while I prepare, they are doing well together. Then we leave on his bike, both feeling rather happy, I believe, with the friendship that has been growing between us. We find Miriam at “Golconde”; she has changed her plans and will stay another month, which she wants to spend mostly in Auroville; she moves me very much, vitally and physically, but I am not aware as yet of a deeper thing…

*29-4-1979, Auroville: C has been in a state of near-immobility, hardly eating, hardly talking, content, assimilating…

*1-5-1979, Auroville: At work G.M tells me he had a few hours yesterday, after we left, of a peace and strength he had not experienced for a long time… (I’d been driving C around on M.T’s bike when it broke down and we had to rest a while at G.M’s in “Dana” before walking back home in the evening.) Patricia and the others soon join us; our team is well-balanced now: Kiran has joined, Jacq is there every day now, so is P.G, and Al.B, and Marcia, sometimes Arjun and red P… Patricia and I go on with the marking, using a new method, while the rest take care of the platforms and reinforce the scaffold. Piero comes later to check some measurements with us; we have found this morning that our difficulties