journal d'une transition

200

When everyone has arrived, we gather in the office around Piero and he shows us all the work he has done, the drawings and calculations, and he explains the main points and how to proceed with the erection and construction of the entire space- frame for the sphere. One is impressed and touched by the quality and the sheer amount of work he has done while being preoccupied with so many other issues and aspects of the work. I salute him within myself and I bow to You who have drawn such a service to You. We are all left a little stunned before the magnitude and the complexity of the task before us – and the lack of funds and, above all, the lack of people! *19-4-1979, Auroville: C.E and I spent the day in Madras doing purchases for “Sincerity”, for the Nursery, for the Kitchen, for Shyama… C’s plane is delayed by several hours in the evening and we try to escape the hell this whole area has become and wait it out in a cheap hotel nearby. Back at the airport we meet F.S who is leaving; we hug and hug: I cannot well adjust to the fact of not seeing him perhaps for years to come… C arrives at last, in the night, with the second plane… *21-4-1979, Auroville: I find myself heavy, dull and dragging. It is again this strange condition that, pushed further, would be dissociating: a massive pressure and, in or very close to the body, a sense of impuissance, of sheer inability to hold on, a weakness like a hole, and then this movement as if to go out and away from the body through the head… I have to struggle to remember and concentrate in the heart. And it’s hot, so hot we seem to be evaporating…! The whole afternoon C sits with me; she has all these questions she has borne within herself and it is as a great part of our shared evolution and of our bond that she puts these questions forward to me, trusting that I shall find the words to open new doors before her… She is so receptive and so ready to progress that much of what I was able to understand or realise this past year simply goes to her; she tells me of her own work too… I have only gratitude to the Lord for all this… *24-4-1979, Auroville: When I ride back to the Nursery in the afternoon to see about the cart, Narad wants to give a special orchid, as it is Darshan Day; he selects the plant, emphasizing its rarity, its cost… Then, as we talk about cork-trees, he tells me of an experience he’d had when he had used a large section of a “Transformation” tree, along with other woods, to make charcoal and, after 5 days, in place of that log, he had found gold! He had taken pieces of it to Nolini, who had confirmed it was gold, the result of transformation… Then he takes me inside his house and shows me a piece. And what I see is mica, of a kind I have often seen, mica unmistakably…! I don’t know what to do or say, not being attracted anyway to this kind of “miracle”, but it leaves me with a strange feeling… I just ask him how mica normally forms, but that is all I can say, since Nolini himself has, according to him, confirmed it! Later in the evening, C, C.E and I walk hand in hand over to the Banyan tree for the “meditation”. There are about 30 people there and I am not at ease with the attendance; but soon I begin to feel that there is some of Your help available to concentrate correctly. I sense my own atmosphere and what it is in Your Light and Presence and I realise again what it is that I want, that I seek, that I grow to: to unite with Being, free of the human modes, free of the slow mind, the slower and