journal d'une transition

199

Later, feeling bad that we hadn’t yet told Yus directly how we feel about all this, I went to him and talked with him; his view is that we now have to deal with another outside agency (“Auromitra”) seeking to impose its ways on us and that P.G and M.D are almost traitors and that it is actually “Auromitra” that has brought enmity among us…! He is quite strident about it, there is no use arguing…! *9-4-1979, Auroville: Today is my birthday. V brings me a small cactus in a golden pot, a flower and a card saying she thanks me for being born…! Later, D.M sends me her message… During the tea-break this morning, even though Piero stubbornly believes that he alone can see what is right for Matrimandir, we are somehow able to agree on what we must communicate to Kireet in Delhi, and we draft the text of a telegram which I am to post from Pondy this afternoon. *10-4-1979, Auroville: Our “extraordinary” meeting was supposed to start at 9 am in the office, but only Arjun and Narad are in time and we wait a long while for everyone else to arrive. About 25 of us, including the members of the Coop, slowly gather. M.T begins with the questions he needs to have answered before he and Piero go up to Delhi. I read the text that Patricia and Narad have drafted and everyone likes it and signs it. Then I go to the workshop and talk to Th, Ruud and the others there and tell them what we are doing and that it would be good if they would at least see the letter we are about to send and express whatever disagreement they may have in an open way… They agree to come to the office. And after a while, some resistances naturally melt away and several among their group sign the letter; Th and Ruud do not oppose it, but do not sign it either. *13-4-1979, Auroville: I have disciplined myself since a few days to make way for C.E. to find out freely, without any pressure from me, what he really wants with us two. It seems to have helped him to come out of this obsession of rivalry, dominance and compulsion. I understand better now that, between human beings, there is a wide variation in degree and quality of the closeness and directness of the contact. It is only when two souls feel with complete evidence and simplicity that they are at home with one another, unreservedly, even though there may be still some necessity to struggle through outer differences, it is only then that the essential basis is there. And that, in itself and by itself, is not love, although it does demand from each one the highest, noblest and purest to honour this bond… But Love, Love is impersonal, can never be bound to any form, it is the supreme Energy… One can only aspire to become a vessel for it, without interference, preferences or demands… As for the rest, all the rest, where there isn’t even the trace of this recognition from within, it is only a play of attractions, with no other effect or result than a slow individual progress and possibly a greater refinement or precision in the collective awareness…

*16-4-1979, Auroville: