journal d'une transition

198

*2-4-1979, Auroville: I have understood concretely, realised, that I am fully responsible for the harmony of my being and the condition of my body, and this understanding is now with me like a new strength. It is my responsibility to send to my body messages that carry harmony instead of disorder and contradiction; this is my own field of work! This I knew inwardly, but I have touched it now. … I heard today from Manju that Miriam has been staying with Pourna Prema all these days! How odd that these two women should come together, Pourna who was so important to me and became my sworn enemy, and Miriam for whom I have felt such an attraction even though I hardly know her…! And also that she is planning to leave on the 7 th … *4-4-1979, Auroville: Piero came to Matrimandir at noon with the news that Madanlal has finally agreed to donate one lakh of rupees thru “Auromitra”, at our convenience, and trusts that we will spend the money to buy the required steel before the price of it goes up on the 9 th . This afternoon several of us worked in the office on the new brochure/presentation for Matrimandir, using the text I have prepared… *5-4-1979, Auroville: After attending a very tamasic PT meeting, the worst I have been to in a long time – and this was the one C.E had to attend! –, we drove to Pondy to see Robi at the Ashram Press for the printing of the Matrimandir brochure; I am very touched by his simplicity and his transparent dedication and, within me, I bow to him and to the likes of him… I am ashamed before You of what we are here, of what I am; but what is the use of being ashamed? One has to grow! In town we came upon, quite suddenly, Miriam, who waved at once, very direct and forward and spontaneous. I introduced Miriam and C.E to each other; she was or looked different, more expansive and city-like, she wore a bright red dress, with that sort of passive elegance I had found attractive in her; it was somewhat refreshing to see this woman there, in these settings…! She said she might delay her departure for a week, and had looked for me in Auroville… *6-4-1979, Auroville: … Patricia tells me that the “agreement” with Madanlal is frozen, as what Yus and Piero had intended to do was actually a sort of manipulation of “Auromitra”, not a straightforward use of it, and that M.D, who is its “field officer”, had refused to process it. So a better way must now be found… We communicate a little on the lack of the psychic sense in us all – that spirit of service, the discreetness, the gratitude, and the quiet discernment that replaces all judgement, the genuine respect of the truth lying in everyone and everything… *7-4-1979, Auroville: … Today Patricia tells me, before we start working, how madly angered Piero had been with her when she also refused to sign the clearance for the cheque until Kireet agreed to this use of the “Auromitra” channel, how she was threatened by him that she would be responsible for the “fall of Matrimandir”… We had to laugh! It has now become quite clear that Piero is not the right person to deal with money!