journal d'une transition

197

human beings. I wish rather that I would always be giving and never have to draw from the others; that I would be able to constantly receive from You, from the Lord, by practice of the correct positioning… But here I am, in-between again! … It is difficult in Auroville today to find a work that can be a real service to You, to which one can really consecrate oneself… One would yearn for hierarchy! But I see that ego and greed for power still make true hierarchy impossible – unattainable; even a thing to be rejected! However nothing seems to be able to replace it: this “psychic” or “divine anarchy” requires wakeful individuals, accurately conscious of their real souls… We have a lot to go before that becomes a fact, don’t we?! 28-3-1979, Auroville: We’re still unable, collectively, to agree on how to channel the needed funds for Matrimandir… We found out that, before the price of steel goes up, Piero is thinking to go back to Madanlal for money : at this both Al.B and Yus get furious, in a way that makes me wonder and step back. There is something off there as well! Yus, in his fanatic way, goes on a diatribe against “Marwaris” – Navajata, Kishorilal, Shyamsunder, and Madanlal are all “Marwaris” – and I just have to go away… We can’t be together on this basis! Patricia and I return to work, determined to concentrate on it even more…! *29-3-1979, Auroville: Today is the first day the new pump at “Sincerity” is running; after weeks of waiting, and good advice from several quarters, it was all checked up finally yesterday; the water is till murky but the pressure is good and we can begin to organise the care and tending of this whole place with some independence. And today is the anniversary of Your first meeting, Mother Sri Aurobindo…! .. Tonight, looking at my own impurity, I touched perhaps the means to change it…! It is no more a struggle against the physical mind, or the sexual impulses, or out of the hell created by conflicts between different parts or elements and the compromises reached out of weakness and ignorance… There is something else, something more, a direct, kind of objective perception of the impurity, which contains, or is one with, the sense of the movement that is likely to help; it is a new sense… but it too requires perseverance and fidelity…! « Il nous semble nécessaire d’exprimer une fois de plus ce qui nous semble être une loi fondamentale de l’expérience que Mère a nommée « Auroville » : toute personne qui se sent appelée à vivre cette expérience et à tenter de s’y donner est la bienvenue. Mais nous devons refuser l’entrée d’Auroville à quiconque s’affilie à un groupe ou une organisation qui revendique un droit de propriété ou de contrôle sur Auroville. Auroville appartient directement à ce Divin dont Mère et Sri Aurobindo sont les représentants et ils n’ont besoin d’aucune organisation extérieure pour établir et manifester la vérité d’Auroville. » *Note regarding the will expressed by members and supporters of the SAS to come and attend the Auroville Birthday celebrations.

“A hero fears nothing, complains of nothing and never gives way.”