journal d'une transition

195

*9-3-1979, Auroville: At work Gl brings fresh news from Delhi – M.D and Prem have returned already: the message is that we must hold on to our position regarding the SAS at least until the end of this month, which is also the end of the financial year, as the SAS Accounts are under scrutiny and their various frauds have become widely known; and that we ought to use “Auromitra” for channelling funds and, meanwhile, start collecting small contributions directly, and present Matrimandir’s needs in a clear manner. Also, that all the “Quit-Notices” – 10 by now – are being frozen for the moment and “Auromitra” has made a representation to become recognised for the issuing of guarantees for the Visas… A way forward seems to be opening, at last… *14-3-1979, Auroville: As I walk around Matrimandir in the evening, I see a young woman walking her cycle and somehow feel drawn to her… As I come nearer I see it is she whom I have seen twice already, from a distance, clad in a rose sari, at the concreting and at Auroville’s birthday, very lovely… This time she wears a simple long skirt… The feeling of her lingers with me as I return home… *15-3-1979, Auroville: The young woman attends the PT meeting at “Tapoloka”. Her name is Miriam, she is American. Our eyes often meet. Afterwards I just ask her if she is staying with us; she replies: “for a while”, and I leave it at that, wanting and needing to offer it… *16-3-1979, Auroville: Another “silent gathering” has been called by the same group, at the Banyan tree, on the theme: “the true spirit of Auroville is collaboration”. I attend it in a way, standing nearby, while about 40 people sit silently, more or less the same people, with the addition of big J this time, and small J and Chris and the young woman, Miriam, has also come, and M from “Aurogarage”. Th plays a tape of the 1973 New Year music with Your reading of Your message in a broken voice, and quietly I think: “yes, we all want true collaboration and solidarity, in feeling, words and action but, as long as in your mind you imply that we must collaborate with the SAS who have clearly shown their will to dominate and enforce, how is that possible? A truthful and unified movement towards the future, yes, but submission to the will of a few?” After everyone has left, Miriam lies down in the grass complaining of a severe head pain; I sit near her, she curls up and cries a moment; then she asks to go up to the Chamber; I let her go by herself and only later climb up to see whether she is alright… She gave me her Hopi ring… Again I offer it up, whether we have to come closer or not, whether it is helpful to both… In the evening I write it all to You; I also tell C.E fully about it. I am so thankful for this gift of friendship and companionship…

*18-3-1979, Auroville: