journal d'une transition

155

pruning, composting. He looked happy and told me that the Banyan tree needed a complete and thorough cleaning of all the dead wood… I liked that!

*23-6-1978, Auroville: Shradhalu told me of the latest drawing Piero has made, showing a construction zone and a ring road passing just over “Sincerity”! (We had proposed earlier to build better collective housing in that very area, as it was marked then as a green zone, which could thus have been developed by the people living there.) I feel that he and others like-minded are pulling a dangerous unreality over things here, it is heavy, and will remain heavy as long as we are not IN Matter; then we shall laugh and harmony will be spontaneous and natural…! The only thing in the world that makes me feel true, that fills me with sense and purpose and gives me the ananda of existence is when the Force flows – when I’m concretely aware of its flowing… There is the inner pain, a kind of conscious pain, at others’ solitude, at each one’s solitude, at our impuissance in our condition to find and to live the Presence, to be filled with the Presence always… *29-6-1978, Auroville: After seeing the work here I went to “Unity” to meet Narad ; he came a little late, we looked at most of the trees around there, I showed him what I had done and intended to do ; he approved and seemed to trust me pretty much and we understood each other well enough ; he demonstrated some techniques for pruning… Then I went to the PT meeting. After a few topics were gone through, we all went over to Piero’s to see the model and drawings he is displaying on Matrimandir; then we all returned to “Tapoloka”; the topic was now Matrimandir, what to do next; Piero spoke; F.Gr also… I got very disturbed by Piero’s approach, by a kind of mental dishonesty; I could have pointed out several “arrangements” that were near to lies; later I felt compelled to speak also, and I did it with concentration, effortlessly… On the way back; Ruud caught up with me to tell me he liked what I’d said, but I felt he was interpreting it… It seems to me that things are not ready… *2-7-1978, Auroville: In the evening after the work I walked down to the Nursery to ask Narad for the address in Madras to get those chemicals to line a pond. I found him all worked up. He’d just seen that someone had wildly pruned a young tree in the Gardens; he couldn’t believe it had been me but was anxious to see me and find out… I don’t know who did that but, if I continue working there, I’ll have to be more attentive so that such things do not occur… I plucked some flowers for Krishna’s birthday and went over to his house, then. As he wasn’t yet back home and I saw that the plants there were very dry, I started watering them all, to make him a surprise…

*3-7-1978, Auroville: V has moved to Dennis’s while they are away and I’m considering moving there as well while the old hut is taken down and the new house is getting ready…