journal d'une transition

154

I cycled down to “Tapoloka” for the special PT meeting, called to elect a representative body for Auroville. Some proposed themselves, others were designated. Fairly soon 12 names were listed and agreed upon. In the evening when I came in and entered the room I found on my bed a pile of all the things I have given to V since she is here… A strong movement of division; I kept quiet, not willing to get under it, and went up to her room, but she wasn’t there; I wrote to her a big card asking her to take back all her things, saying that such a movement cannot come from the heart and does NOT exist and that with all my heart I ask her to erase it with me… But she didn’t take her things back. There is a kind of anger: what is this “love” that puts conditions as in a bargain, ready at the first occasion to reject, cut apart and divide? It is worth nothing! Mother, at times I really feel and believe that I am a tiny part of You, made of Your own… But how can I ever say that when I am so filled with impurities, confusion, inertia? Yet I do believe that, somehow, it is so. Before going to bed I decided to myself bring all the things back to V. It seemed the best thing to do. *12-6-1978, Auroville: At breakfast Narad told me he’d had a very good meeting with P.G and F.Gr: it seems that the same thought has occurred to several of us, that Auromitra should purchase a first piece of land in the name of Auroville, for humanity; and that piece should preferably be near Matrimandir, where the “mountain” is to come, between “Sincerity” and the Nursery… *13-6-1978, Auroville: When I went for my evening bath I found that V had cleaned the bathroom, washed all the clothes and left one bucket for the 3 of us to use! Isn’t this how one can rely on the Grace to arrange everything! Now G.M and Ina have moved to near “Fertile”, R.O and Gab have moved to G.M’s house here, and Dennis and Christiane have moved to R.O’s house here… *21-6-1978, Auroville: Our dog was bitten by a cobra a couple of days ago (Krishna had found the dead cobra); even though his wound appeared to be healing, he was not recovering; this evening, as we were feeding him honeyed water, he died in our arms, just like that, quietly, trustingly… *22-6-1978, Auroville: More and more I can see that one is actually unable to say one single true thing, because no expression can sum up all the sides or aspects into one single helpful formula, and a partial expression is bound to call reactions. And so the power to act together on the basis of a common, integral understanding is blocked, is lacking… There is much confusion and uncertainty in the work. Sometimes I feel that perhaps Piero is mad, of a very reasonable but very cracked kind of madness! After the work I walked over to the Nursery to see Narad and ask him, if things go on in that way, whether I could shift to some work in the Gardens – cleaning,