with Sri Ganesh

It gradually worsened through the rest of the afternoon; Dinesh came to be by my side – Parthy could hardly be expected to help, being still so weak and fragile and achy himself – and, later, Bhaskar joined as well; we tried to have me drink sweet, fresh orange juice and it seemed to help for a moment but, soon enough, I vomited it all out and more, and the pain escalated. But I was very upset at this bad turn, at being thus prevented to look after Parthy and bring him back to health and balance and I was determined to at least get up long enough to give him his bath as usual; and this I did, somehow, and it helped to restore confidence in him. But I couldn’t cope much further. As the evening grew, and the pain would not subside, I asked Dinesh to enquire with Uma as to some pain-killer I could take now. But upon hearing of my condition, Uma asked more questions and must have got a little alarmed and, on his side and without telling me, Bhaskar decided to inform Arjun as well, who arrived and surprised me reclining in the house and trying to hold out against the pain, which of course reminded us – Arjun, Bhaskar and me mainly – of the time, almost 9 years ago, when I had to undergo surgery to open my abdomen which was found to be filled with pus: then too, it had started with the same kind of pain in the belly…! At that time, the doctors had not been able to determine the cause of this sudden infection; they had stitched me back and only warned me that, from now on, there would be a possibility of a section of the intestines adhering to the inner skin and producing a bend and another occlusion and I would simply have to be operated upon once again. But what had happened then, in May 2001 it was, had clearly been triggered by an excess of hostility and the final drop had been when an open question had been officially posted as a formal poll on the Auroville Intranet asking everyone in Auroville to say whether the situation or the atmosphere at Matrimandir would be freed and improved if I was removed from there. While now, after years of being away from everything and in the midst of all this concentration and experience with Parthy, such hostility could not be found as a possible cause. Everyone was patient and attentive and willing to let me try and absorb some tablets which Uma had prescribed and wait for any effect to show.

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