with Sri Ganesh

It is only once we had moved out of this obscure whirl of the Pondy hospitals that I began to feel a little quieter…

I do not want superstitions; I do not want delusions; I do not want beliefs. I want truth; I want consciousness and the true and real ability to receive, to hold, to let flow, to be. To be human is a terrible indignity…! Is it possible for all this to evolve and to change? I don’t know anything. Why is Your Force veiled? Why am I such a poor channel, such a poor friend, so incapable of conveying harmony…?

I just ask You, Douce Mère, I ask You, Make Parthy Your child, Hold him in harmony,

Make him well, Make him grow, Mother…!

- 04-10-09:

… It is Sunday and Parthy’s wife and daughter, his best friend and his own wife, all came to help me at Sri Ganesh’s as a way to pray together for Parthy. At the Miot Hospital, they are now in the process of changing the blood, so as to try and save the liver and kidneys; Parthy is conscious and responding, but I don’t thing he realizes fully what the condition is; the doctors have asked Selvam not to explain too much to him so as not to cause any emotional upset at this crucial point… He is plugged onto various machines and monitors, with pipes and tubes in and out of his body and an oxygen mask… Yesterday I cried so much and fought and begged and prayed… Let this be an occasion for true progress and growth of awareness… Douce Mère Sri Aurobindo Sri Ganesh … I have not sat before Sri Ganesh the last two days: I had too much pain and revolt and worry and it’s like I do not want to eat, to see beauty, to be at ease, to feel harmony, even to rest, when Parthy is still suffering.

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