with Sri Ganesh

But this complexity, Of multitudinous simultaneous

Threads of becoming, Is worked on through Harmony –

There is no other way.

Aum Namo Bhagavate.

- 30-04-09:

… The heat is heavy and rising and the garden is wilting…

Today M. has waited for me; at first I think that perhaps he wants to talk openly, regarding the message I left him yesterday; but he only smiles at me, with this energy I do not trust at all, and seems to be just as pleased with himself. I keep quiet. But I find myself hoping and wishing that he will decide to withdraw from this place and that our relationship will wait for a while, till some more inner work has been done… He goes out, eventually, with a kind of expectant wave at me… I don’t know, Sri Ganesh…: this relationship has become a kind of monstrosity, of parasitism which must not be allowed to continue as such; I have to find the right movement: not a rejection of him, but a healthy response that may straighten out this distortion…

… I tend to judge myself harshly these days, in relation to this service…

Last week I took up reading Sri Aurobindo on the Upanishads and on the Vedas, and I do now find confirmation, through His words, of a number of perceptions of which I was unsure in my approach to Sri Ganesh… Yet on the other hand, as is often the case with reading Sri Aurobindo, the immensity, radicality and integrality of the task before us is such that my present condition appears miserably shallow, limited and mediocre…

Sri Ganesh, You are a great Pilgrim,

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