with Sri Ganesh

surrender, turn in and try to end it all as quietly and gracefully as I possibly can…

And through this particular exercise, there is also the movement to rise out of the slow density of our vital condition, to emerge out of it and unite into actual, wakeful and free awareness…

Sri Ganesh, In your leadership There is not a trace of violence: You do not coerce, You do not rule And yet you lead, Conductor And alchemist Of universal music = Powers are the instruments, Riches are the notes, The pulse of consciousness Is the rhythm, And this is Your offering To Her.

- 26-02-09:

… This is a bit of a crisis… yesterday evening and through much of the night I was quite unwell… This morning I nearly accepted Parthi’s offer to come and replace me here… From one moment to the next I move from the certainty that a disaster is imminent, is already happening in the body and I am thus forced to withdraw and I am haunted by the sense of it all being messy and ungraceful and heavy for the others; and the next moment I feel the trust and confidence and the smile of the Divine’s affection and know that it will turn out alright, the body will work it out and I shall be allowed to search and move towards more conscious harmony, here, in the physical world, for some more time… And along with these alternating moments, come larger and deeper questions: is this all sheer obscurity and this manifest world of forms and relationships a meaningless snare, a senseless dream of the Self? Or is there a self-revealing gradual incarnation of a multiplicity of awareness and delight…?

255