journal d'une transition

890

the quality needed in the instruments. There’s only Ramalingam I can count upon, really, and he was the one to find out that the carpenters had botched up their job on the pillar. It is nothing disastrous, but it is a waste of time and energy; And it gives me the sense, very concretely, that if we are serious about completing the entire structure and its surroundings, we must shift scale – we cannot go on

with the basis we now have, or it will take decades… There are too few people willing to share the load. I don’t know how to move forward.

This afternoon Catherine, LN and I had another session with Roger A on the central staircase, and things became a little simpler, a little freer of details, and easier to materialise. But there is such a huge amount of details that are generated by Roger A’s approach to decoration that to me it is like looking at an endless servitude to artefacts and complications; and yet there is no doubt that he has evolved towards simplicity…! I doubt very much the usefulness of my participation in these sessions; I wish actually that both Roger A and Piero would listen to each other and work together: their respective blocks have thrown us all into such a deep pit for so long… … This evening I wanted so much to clean it all out and to centre, to go to the ocean, or somewhere where Matter is One, IS… But the days have become even shorter, dusk falls at 6 pm… I did some pruning work around the house instead, till I could no longer see the branches…! … Selvam is pulling at me again, wanting me to give him some directions out of his personal troubles (between his wife, and Mary, and his own family…), but I do not wish to get that involved again…

*22-11-1989, Auroville: A good working day today, with less talk. And there is now a clear understanding with Ramalingam that he needs to be there full-time, so I may proceed with opening or initiating more areas of work…

*23-11-1989, Auroville: This afternoon we first had a small session on Information and Access, to make sure there are enough of us to take up all the shifts and duties, and to prepare the ground for the new organisation, with proper gates and control, watchmen and guides and an active Information service. Then there was a session with Catherine and Roger A; the work we are doing together is quite interesting; we are now studying the four main doors to the sphere… It is like pulling the magic thread of a complete Matrimandir… So far the contact between the three of us is good, simple and easy… *25-11-1989, Auroville: Selvam called me to come and meet him. He had to have more steel fragments removed from his eye – tiny splinters – and he was very confused too with his personal scene; his wife had discovered where Mary lives; he was worried about his kids and wanted me to take him so he could see them; and then his friends have got involved, and we had to meet with Selvraj and Janah and Narayanswamy, and sit all together trying to see how to best resolve this situation… I am only there out of a sort of faithfulness to Selvam; I do not expect anything anymore from this