journal d'une transition

861

*5-7-1989, Auroville: Early this morning while I was still at Janet’s, Piero came in to bring her a copy of Mauna’s letter for her to take to the Council meeting. I tried to let him see he’d better come back to work; but he says he is revolted and very depressed and wants Auroville to do something about Arjun… I feel this is not only wrong but dangerous, but at this point it seems that all the protagonists are blinded to anything but their own roles… Janet also took a copy of my proposal… *7-7-1989, Auroville: At Matrimandir it is still very uncertain. But Su’s work in the office (she has volunteered to do the job Mauna had been doing) seems to be fitting, and it is alright with Arjun. However Piero is still agitating in Auroville and it is all very tricky. Andy came to me in the morning to tell me of his idea to ask for a team of 3 people from Auroville at large to investigate and try to find a solution to the conflict, at the same time re-opening the entire issue of Matrimandir, its work and its completion, to the whole of Auroville… I said I could agree to that only if Piero would first resume his work for, otherwise, he was only misusing his authority and responsibilities. Andy seemed to see that, but I feel I may have to clarify it further at tomorrow’ meeting… … When I came home early afternoon I found, waiting for me in the garden, Pnina, accompanied by a friend of hers, a beautiful Israeli man, Avi. There are here only for a few days; I was glad to see her, after nearly 4 years I think, and to meet her friend. They’ll come again soon. Besides observing the respective truths, as well as the respective dishonesties, and wondering still how so many of us here can remain blinded to the most basic necessities, it is also very instructive to watch and be part of such events – but in what way it is instructive, I cannot well define: it helps a certain awareness to grow or expand… Yet, by the end of it, I felt depleted… It is only toward the end that I spoke and tried to disengage, or disentangle what could be a basis for agreement: that we would all be at work on Monday; and that a commitment on Auroville’s part – on the community’s part – would be made to help organise the work of completing Matrimandir in all its aspects. To this John H added that we would also commit to cease criticising – meaning, I guess, blaming – others… I felt, too, that somehow in each individual, in each person, there was, and it is the mystery of this transitional stage, a purity of intent… *9-7-1989, Auroville: Su has taken hard this entire drama at Matrimandir. She needed comforting. It is difficult for her to enter this work there without the security that she won’t be displaced by another upheaval, and she fears the loneliness of it, with me being so aloof and independent… I suspect she has also felt let down seeing how much time I am willing to spend with Selvam, lately… *8-7-1989, Auroville: From 11 am till 2 pm we had this difficult, exhausting meeting. Piero was absent.