journal d'une transition

846

At tea-break, when the boys learnt of the action taken against Arjun – Piero has written to the Bank asking for Arjun’s formal dismissal, they got so upset that there nearly was a fist-fight between Giovanni and Ramalingam. Later in the morning Ojha came, on an official visit, and called all of us down again; he made a speech, rather sweet with an obviously sincere feeling, but making it quite clear that he was prepared to formally intervene if we couldn’t reach a harmony together… At the end of the morning work, after 1.30 pm, I met quietly with Arjun and Deepti; and I knew then how critical the situation is… But somehow I also feel it is also all to the good, because it is time a shadow is lifted from the work at Matrimandir; Piero has now gone too far… Let it be a true release, and a new start; there is so much wonderful work to be done… … This afternoon, I was a little dazed, and rested too late; and N came to me, and it was simple and tender. *20-5-1989, Auroville: This morning’ meeting at Matrimandir yielded some result: a little opening to start on a new basis. The boys were beautiful: they demanded that these “Coordination group’ meetings” must cease and the Matrimandir affairs go back to the larger forum of all the workers, and no issue should be dealt in small groups; I also insisted that we may not condone or support in any way such actions as the one Piero took against Arjun (his letter and his spoken accusations to the Bank Manager) and that we must all make an effort, individually and together, to be free from any influence, be it Piero’s or Roger A’s or anyone’s or anything’ that is not IT… … It seems that Al.B has recently written to Satprem and that a long reply has come, which Ar. wants to take down for me… *21-5-1989, Auroville: I am thinking a lot of Matrimandir. How to progress there, and how to reach a truer way of working together: I can see a sort of organic hierarchy, allowing for all the energies to find their place in the material realisation… But the question remains: is it right to propose it, and to work towards it, or should one merely accept the unfolding of forces at play…? Psychologically the atmosphere is sickened, and thick with tamas… I do not know the answer; and I don’t know either why I do not know it…! Perhaps I am afraid of getting my ego into it, and of having to cope with the ignorant returns… Or perhaps some abscess must first burst open and a preliminary cleansing take place before one may usefully propose a direction and the outlines of a work to be shared… *22-5-1989, Auroville: The air was sweet with damp earth and the garden was lovely when I left this morning… I went first to Janet’s, as usual, on my way to Matrimandir; when I reached the Chamber, Gloria came up, alone; I was glad of it: we never have a chance to see each other any more. We talked quietly, of the general situation and of Satprem’s letter; I felt I could share with her a little of the experience You have given me these past months, and how for the first time in my life I have truly been happy, because That is there… Later I wanted to say also how stupid Piero had