journal d'une transition

822

beautiful the whole experience has been of opening “Ravena”, with all these people sharing the space and all the life coming to it, Larry asked me for… the white cycle! But I have actually spent on repairing it twice and maintaining it, and besides, N has been using it, and I’ve had enough of their claims of inheritors…! So I just made a blank wall and kept quiet and they eventually left… *6-1-1989, Auroville: I get a little carried away with the energy of working with plants, with natural and material substance. It seems that this is what I like most, to be with Nature, to create environments of conscious beauty and harmonious material call for the Presence; and I also, at times, enjoy working with N: I am really fond of him! Yet I must reach some sort of balance with the energies…! But just now, the weather is so good, it is the blessed time of the year, gorgeous and crisp and cool and quiet, when the garden is at its best and every moment of the day is a new creation of light and silent growth, but for the sweet movements and chirping sounds of the birds… so many birds are here now, all over the place, of all sizes… *7-1-1989, Auroville: It seems to me more and more that, to a very large extent, it is “man” – our human condition as an evolving stage of the One – that sets the pace: that, in those terms and once the contact is given, it is largely up to us… One may call it “resistance”, but it is perhaps simply an evolving balance between the intensity and steadiness of the flame, of the need, and the process of replacing unreality by the Real in all movements of our nature… These are words; but today I went through the whole cycle of energies – work, physical need of intimacy, tenderness and sexual release, recovery of receptivity and re-centring… And I see no longer that I ought not to have yielded to this or that; what I see more and more is that, by the action of Your Grace, the connection with the Force takes up more and more time, and as it does, the confusion of needs gradually decreases, while the experience of conscious gratitude grows and develops… And I’m learning all the time…

*8-1-1989, Auroville: It is always this problem of time versus activity: without centred awareness, it all becomes flat, a mere race and gesticulation…! Like squirrels and ants, busy, busy… and separate!

*10-1-1989, Auroville: While pruning, this morning, a heavy branch dropped on my foot.

For some years now I have sort of practiced, with small cuts and bruises, to immediately go blank and make silence, calling for peace and harmony, through the Force… This time it was more spectacular: right away a big swelling appeared, and an acute pain; I became silent, and called, and stayed that way perhaps one minute, so the cells in that part would remember the Lord; the pain subsided and disappeared almost entirely; after a few more minutes, the swelling disappeared too. And I could move and walk and climb back into the tree and keep working.