journal d'une transition

821

- 1989 -

*1-1-1989, Auroville: Su has been through an intense crisis, emotionally, regarding our relationship, and it had to come out; I helped her this evening to speak up and in the process some relief and some peace came to her, and it was again light and simple. And in the night Vivian, Su and John H’s sister, came back to Auroville, this time with her daughter Nathalie. *2-1-1989, Auroville: It is mingling: at once I am learning to grow more aware and oriented and to discover the presence of the Way, and I am also tense and wary of intrusions, wanting to be left alone; and yet I also wonder what can be the right activity for me here, and whether I ought to face my situation in Auroville, there being no opening for me to work anywhere… But I feel, more deeply, that my priority is to trust the Force and to rely exclusively on Its Pressure… *3-1-1989, Auroville: Kasi came by a moment ago, sweetly wanting for a hug on his way… What I hear of “Ravena” through him or through Shano is, could be, depressing: hundreds of people visiting, parties with loud music and drink, litter everywhere; noise and superficiality… So it is one of two things: either I have been weak and impure in my offering and I have lacked the courage to stand for the true usage of the place – but I do not really know what that is, and I don’t see what I could have done; or it is in Your hands and it is being used or the best, regardless of what I feel about it… *4-1-1989, Auroville: Heavy pruning all morning, waxing and cleaning all afternoon, I worked hard the entire day, and tonight Su and I have our night-watch duty. There is a whole lot I can do right here; gratefulness is there always, for this possibility You give me to evolve in beauty, and in an environment that grows as I grow, to thus give myself to this collaboration with material Nature as an offering to the Presence… … Shano just came by; it’s like he just wants or needs to feel at home here, with me…

*5-1-1989, Auroville: Late morning Larry came here with Auralice. I wasn’t too happy to see them and was wondering what it was they wanted… And, after telling me all about how