journal d'une transition

790

*23-4-1988, Auroville: I went to attend the meeting at Matrimandir, but the group of Roger A’s supporters, with G.M as their pivot, have done so well with their stupid and ambitious confusion that they have taken away the meaning of any communication about the work itself; everything is now at a stand-still, except for the work on the structure which they couldn’t stop, where the same old team is proceeding as best they can… *24-4-1988, Auroville: I’d like sometimes to, just for a while, be unrelated to the circumstances around me, be “irresponsible”, sleep on, or walk or watch people and nature, read, do something or do nothing – instead of being tied up to the routine and discipline I have myself established… That’s probably why people take “vacations”! But I well know that the only way out is to learn to move only under and by the Lord’s impulse, for everything – including the smallest body-movements… *28-4-1988, Auroville: I am trying to find a solution for re-doing the surface of the first-floor open terrace at “Ravena”, which has cracked in several places; and there seems to be no other solution but the best – which is costly! But Larry appears to see that too and to agree with me… … I have received another long letter from my brother’s friend, Patricia; this time she sends photographs of him too… *30-4-1988, Auroville: I received a parcel from C; this parcel had been stopped at the Customs, along with many others I guess, and they have obviously got a little confused…: among Russian cups, which C indeed had sent me, I pulled out a number of flimsy lady undergarments, black frilly sheer lace, it was hilarious… *2-5-1988, Auroville: Larry sent me a note saying he doesn’t think we can spend such amounts to red-do the terrace, and we should try to patch it up… I think he is old, trusts no longer, and is no help! I know that “Ravena” must be done well, like a jewel – a simple but honest offering, having trusted to the end, and chosen quality and harmony even against all odds… So I am now looking for the means to do what has to be done… … Life seems to be an exposed line, vulnerable to both sides, tending to reduce itself in order to protect itself, driven by the convention of time and the routine clamour of its sameness everywhere… And the being seeks for a spherical existence, pulsating with the One Heart, free and yielding and transforming itself ceaselessly without fear of loosing its One Anchor or its unicity… *3-5-1988, Auroville: I cycled down to the beach after the work. The sea was rough and warm, and half the sky filled up with enormous black and deep grey clouds, while the rest of it remained white as hot iron, and the ocean itself became like a vision through some space-warp… I was glad… It started pouring as I cycled back, and for part of the