journal d'une transition

729

*1-6-1987, Auroville: The news came today of Sophie’s passing, on the 28th, in Annecy, from cancer; R and Sukhi were near her. A beautiful, lovely and very fine being she is…

*4-6-1987, Auroville: I wrote a letter to Gupi, so that he knows how wrong he’s been regarding C; but I haven’t sent it yet: I am resentful towards him and I wonder whether one can do any good in that condition! Yet I do think that he is a dangerous fellow sometimes and ought to be checked, and made aware of the limits to his present capacity. Twice in my life he has intervened, and twice he did damage, although at different levels…

*5-6-1987, Auroville: At Ravena I began placing the geese in their flight – on the two murals D.M and I had designed on either side of the entrance -, one by one, and looking, looking: it is so delicate to find their exact individual places and their number…

*8-6-1987, Auroville: I rode down to Pondy early this morning, to get the bike serviced, and to purchase the items for the plumbing and sanitary in “Ravena”: this is always the toughest part for me in a construction; I am quite lost with these contraptions, nothing ever seems to fit correctly, and it’s all so… fabricated! … I placed 5 more of the flying geese; it is hard to be sure but, so far, it feels right: they express a truth – a rising out and upward, a thirst and a thrust of powerful aspiration toward the light… I can only hope that D.M and Janaka would like it, and feel fulfilled in them… *9-6-1987, Auroville: I saw, in retrospect, that every effort one makes is tainted with ambition and narrow exclusiveness… Now I tend to accept that there is no realisation of any sort; that all the activities go on, ceaselessly. Whatever will was there to control them, or to move beyond or above them, or to silence them and make them receptive, this will has somehow abdicated… … Let it be as That makes it to be… The only focus of prayer or aspiration, of awareness, that remains is in the simple experience of being material – of existing materially. To be aware of it from the core, wordlessly, and without conditions. Just that. … Ar. is the one person here who has this need and will to be near me all the time, and it remains a mystery to me; and now she accepts more easily my silence and for instance if I take a book in her presence, she herself takes one as well and is content… And so it has become a little easier, as she has also ceased from making demands, and she brings with her a sort of joyfulness which is very pleasant…