journal d'une transition

608

… After the work at “Ravena”, I took C for a walk into the canyons… There and then, as if in response to my need for a tangible support, an incarnation, something of You became concrete: Your eyes of light, Your physical presence, and… our true relationship; and it did not come as a striking “experience” between moments; I only realised, slowly almost, that it was there, that it IS there, and that it is real, it IS You and it IS me… And then it seems quite possible to change, to grow, to walk Your way, to become…

*17-1-1986, Auroville: N came to have breakfast with us here this morning; D.M has been asking for fresh goat milk, daily; so this is one more task to be achieved now! How to get a milch

goat over to “Ravena”, how to look after it and feed it and… milk it…! I received a letter from Pnina today: it is not easy in Jerusalem…!

… I am reading the book R’s father, Arnault Tzanck, had written years ago in the 40s, “La Conscience Créatrice”: this man made a beautiful offering… He would have loved You so much! He was so isolated, in those years, as a scientist and en eminent researcher, and yet he needed to offer a true basis for further evolution, all by himself, with only his own perceptions to guide him; and he managed to express quite a bit of what the Two of You have said, hoping and perhaps believing he would meet with some understanding. But, as much as he was celebrated as a scientist and discoverer, he was scorned for this most essential attempt, which remained ignored to this day… *19-1-1986, Auroville: Dimanche… C, R et moi sommes restés un long moment paisible sous l’arbre de Service… Puis G.M est venu, bientôt suivi de M, plus odieuse que jamais envers lui… J’ai un peu de mal à ne pas lui en vouloir d’avoir férocement imposé ce drame constant, particulièrement maintenant qu’il eut été plus normal et naturel de respecter l’espace de l’amitié entre G.M et moi, avant son départ… Lui, est mieux centré, à présent qu’il est presque délivré de cette situation impossible… ! Il part mardi… ; pendant au moins 6 mois : une énorme distance de temps, en termes de progrès, de passages… *20-1-1986, Auroville : Après le travail à « Ravena », j’ai emmené Samuel avec moi à la recherche, dans le village, d’une chèvre laitière… ! D.M m’a encore écrit aujourd’hui, me disant comme elle est misérable dans son corps, et me demandant de prier pour elle… Je ne sais pas, Douce Mère ; mais Toi, Tu sais… Montre-lui, Douce Mère ! Montre-nous le Vrai, le Corps de Ca… ! … G.M s’en va demain… Tout le monde bouge et se déplace… et je suis là ! Tu sais!

*23-1-1986, Auroville: Your Agenda, Mother, is so incredibly precious! It is truly like the purest of milks! I love you, Mother! That much I know is true!