journal d'une transition

554

summoned and given a speech about me and the dangers and risks that a relationship with me would imply or cause, once in Auroville; the second one occurred just two days ago, when someone who has joined Auroville recently and with whom I am friends, was asked to leave the Kindergarten school, at the Centre, where she had begun to work, because of this friendship. Now, what does this mean, in terms of Auroville? How can such an action be justified, and does it not call for urgent attention on the dangers of becoming ever more fragmented and the preys to subtler forms of exclusivism, fanaticism, superstition and obscurantism, that are anywhere else the cause of such an amount of misery? I am not going to play any games, nor seek support of any kind. If we look again at possible guidelines for Auroville – and the clearest ones (which were, if you will remember, rejected by the community) were offered by Satprem, there is not the least reason for me to be condemned, or wanted away. No one can claim either to know directly from the only true authority we acknowledge and recognise anything that would indicate that I am “undesirable” in Auroville; neither from Satprem. I am no unbalanced person; I am not flipping, I contribute physically and otherwise to Auroville – insofar as I am allowed to. So what? I am “different” according to several standards of judgement, yes; I disagree, or lack wholehearted agreement, with a number of positions and stances held officially or publicly in Auroville, yes; so what? Please, you must understand that this situation cannot go on on this track. Some sort of clarity must be reached, or at least a different understanding, truer and PS: Since I am at it and since, as you well know, there is no other place I can address myself to without going for a useless and sterile drama, I add another urgent practical request: I need a form to be filled by Diane P. – which I have sent to her already – so that Auragni can remain also on my Passport and able to choose, later on, the French nationality if she so desires and/or needs. I am already more than a week late. Would you please help?” *28-3-1985, Auroville : A midi je suis allé seul m’étendre à la plage, en plein soleil. G m’a invité plus tard à prendre le café avec lui, et m’a parlé de ce que certains pensent de moi, du niveau de leurs réactions, de leurs refoulements sexuels, de leurs jugements… C’est un drôle d’homme, assez libre de l’opinion publique… ! … D.A est devenu tout à fait négatif envers Auroville, alors que Soaz, bien qu’elle souffre de la dureté imbécile qu’il lui arrive de rencontrer ici, souhaite, rester avec les enfants ; et Samuel, lui, si beau et si doux, rond et plein, tranquille et présent, qui s’est encore endormi dans mes bras… … Ce matin Nata a quitté son corps, à 7 heures… Mon ami Nata, auprès de Toi… ! more real, must become actual in our lives here. I do not know how to end, except with silence. Divakar.

*3-4-1985, Auroville : Krishna est rentré.