journal d'une transition

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and Nath’s hut… I wouldn’t want to live there, it is too neglected, another way of life… L seems to be playing a role, I do not trust it. I suggest that M.S stays over for lunch, waiting for Cyril, and I get to go but, on my way across the village, I find Cyril and take him back there, to… his mother! After 7 years! Now this could be the subject matter of a novel; yet, somehow, within Your Work, with the action of Your Force in our lives and on our natures, these feelings and their dramatic value are finding much less room; our responses are already different… I soon leave them together, in Cyril’s hut… … Today we got our copies of the Agenda 5! *18-1-1980, Auroville: Today is the day the SAS had announced they would come back “en masse”… We have all agreed to be there early, there is an atmosphere as for a concreting, light and lively… But it seems that, informed there would be many of us working on the structure, the SAS have not dared! Only some police have come and, mid-morning, Valya’s replacement arrives and asks to talk to us. Most of us gather in the office and Piero, M.D and Al.B act as our spokesmen: the whole issue has to be explained all over again, since the fellow is new to it… What comes out clearest today is that whenever we are collectively determined to stand, concretely, these people of the SAS can do nothing…! … I take V down to Pondy and we eat lunch at “La Maison”. I am looking at this yearning I have for a relationship with a person, a woman, whose soul I would know and find in her eyes, with no barrier, no opacity, and pondering the fact that I would accept no less, having found You, Mother… And right then and there, walking past us and heading for the stairs, comes… Pourna! My eyes meet her wide deep intense eyes and spontaneously I enter them and at once she closes herself and assumes a mask, this beautiful majestic mask of hers… This leaves me brooding… … P.G greets me with the news: the authorities have sanctioned section 144 for 15 days; it means that no one is allowed at Matrimandir, or at Bharat Nivas, except for 2 persons on watch-duty at any time, and both places will be manned by police… Sealed documents have been posted to that effect. This has happened apparently because the SAS declared to the Police they would come after 5 pm, once we have all gone home; the Police couldn’t condone it, so they decided to stop everybody… My first thought is that this will give us time to sort things out in Auroville, to do our clean-up act – those who take drugs, those who insist on following various gurus, those who just hang around and do no work… But of course the question arises at once: which is the way, the way of self-reliant action, or the way of surrender and dedication, or is it an attitude we yet have to find, that includes both? *19-1-1980, Auroville: We have to organise, to catch the workshop boys before they reach, and to distribute the wages… Communication with the Inspectors seems to indicate that a few of us will be able to spend the day there and even do some work… We lock all the tools away. Myrtle sits in the office at her usual work, to see whether she will be allowed to continue… … I drive Kiran down to Pondy; on our way we enter into a talk that is interesting to me because the aspiration Kiran expresses is quite close to one I still have but could not live up to, so far… Again these two ways of responding to the challenge of