journal d'une transition

345

It is the kind of “consciousness” with which we approach the needed changes, that is wrong and inadequate. And it is this very inadequacy that makes these changes to appear impossible. I am quite certain now that there is, near at hand, available, an altogether other awareness that can allow us to make this step, undergo this change: to be freed from all patterns and formations… … I believe that “falsehood” only occurs when people have persistently refused to examine themselves and their own motivations, assumptions and beliefs… This is a necessary effort that must proceed fairly constantly, and mental honesty is merely one result of it… *13-9-1980, Auroville: This morning I go to help the teams at Matrimandir to carry sections of the new crane; there is a large group, disparate, and I feel blank and rather unrelated… … Marcia and G.M are in Madras, as Marcia’s brother is leaving, and I have to take care of “Dana”; I clean the entire place, put everything in order, calling for peace and clarity… Cl.B and M ride in on their horses and, with their coming, a kind of sexual and vital potential enters… The horses run away; we find them back in “Gaia”… *18-9-1980, Auroville: I want to be “alive” and to be “dead” at the same time, I want to exist beyond both, or where the two join, or where they both come from… This is becoming like a need: not to be “either” “or”, not to be depending on this illusion… … Diane has returned and she reports on her whole experience in Delhi at the meeting in “Tapoloka”; she is filled with it, there is sincerity there. Yesterday already she had come to see G.M and I and the 3 of us had gone together to the FRO; and I had felt more aware of her inner being than before. *19-9-1980, Auroville: I have a kind of clear certitude that the actual key to this world’s harmony is that each one must learn to find what one loves and follow that faithfully; that this the way for the truth of the world to be revealed… For everything, from the “smallest” detail to the largest “issue”… And this is an immense program! … There is a fairly balanced, strong and healthy mutual attraction between Cl.B and I and today it felt like we were just about to make the step, but it would be for her more of a decision than for me… *17-9-1980, Auroville: Que chaque être trouve son chemin entier du Seigneur… !

*20-9-1980, Auroville I weep at Your feet, I kiss Your hands, I thank That for Your existence…

*23-9-1980, Auroville: