journal d'une transition

328

… Clouds have been massing from the South for several days; and tonight it pours, for a long time, a good and steady rain…!

*14-7-1980, Auroville: I gaze and gaze at all the greens, all the many different foliages and textures against the greyed sky, I breathe the smells of the damp soil, of the wet leaves: the whole garden is revived…! I thank the Lord for this little corner of earth where I can call a little more Presence with care, attention, quietly, thirsting for beauty and grace… … With O.P, perhaps because we went through so much together in the past, there is a peculiar harmony, sure of itself, which needs no exterior means to know itself, hardly any sign or expression… … I read the “Auroville Notes”; there seems to be some awakening to the reality of Matrimandir, an urge to attune to its living force… As G.M and I have been rather withdrawn, concentrating for the time being on the building of the house in “Dana” and waiting, it may have allowed for others to feel more directly concerned…? And too, for the first time, Your picture is on the cover…! *15-7-1980, Auroville: I have taken to listen to the tapes of Your Agenda – which everybody listens to in the evenings – while doing my morning chores, Your voice, Your laughter filling the house, resounding in the garden, as I pluck and arrange the flowers, clean the house, feed the birds and the kittens (Nat will only take them when they are weaned), and it is the most delightful way to start each day… … Tineke comes from “Forecomers” to call for the Guard: some villagers are trying to plough a field that hasn’t yet been fenced… I don’t feel a thing, almost as if I did not care any more… … There is a van full of police patrolling Auroville today, as word has got to the “authorities” that the SAS might try some provocative actions, particularly at Matrimandir, now that the trial is going on at the Tindivanam Court… … Grass is shooting where there was only baked red earth, every leaf shines… … As O.P and I reach “La Maison”, Krishna walks out; we do not look at each other… Actually I am not impatient to resume our relationship; I feel that a change has yet to occur, and that it is mostly in him, so that what made us separate will be seen differently in future, and for that he must first withdraw or undo or change these formations which he has made… … Tonight the others tell me what has happened today at Matrimandir, and I am very proud of them: At about 1.30 pm Noh saw a whole file of people marching in, Jyotiprem at the head, followed by the now well-clad carpenters, the SAS watchmen, a few SAS people, Igor of “Hope”, etc. They had come to “meditate”! Noh ran first to the Camp to call Jacq and John H, then ran over here and couldn’t find me… Bill, Bhaga and a few others from the Camp rushed over as well and managed to block the line; Jacq it seems, was fiercely determined, and rode her bike alone toward those silly people, on and on, till they dispersed; some more help came, finally, to push back that whole troop, from the Marakanam Inspector… Our people had a rather happy time, it seems…! While in Pondy, earlier in the day I had gone to the FRO for work; the officer, who is now quite friendly and offers me coffee, enquired whether anything had yet happened at Matrimandir… Everyone seems to be expecting some turning-point…