journal d'une transition

294

Whenever I follow the clues of a “collective process”, I get pained by the heavy contradictions, distressed by the lack of perceptiveness, soberness and honesty… Whenever I keep to myself, I soon yearn for ways to verify and apply what I experience alone into some collective being or life… Back and forth, never settled, never fulfilled… … J.P of “Two Banyans” has been badly beaten up by a group of villagers from Bommayarpalayam, but he was able to escape… G.M thinks we should organise a night watch there so that he and his family are not left alone so far from any neighbour… *3-3-1980, Auroville: The Guard is called to “New Creation” early this morning. G. picks me up and we reach there at 6 am. Soon, the entire Guard is there. Subrayan, who is an SAS agent, has bought a piece of land right next to the Auroville settlement and has made a wild connection to the water-pipe which is the main supply from the “Auroelectronics” pump to the village, provided by Auroville; our position is straightforward. A couple of us start digging; almost immediately Subrayan, Damodaran and Dharman, accompanied by two other men, all armed with sticks and bricks in their hands, rush in and push through our circle violently; we try to tighten the barrier by holding arms and hands but a few of us are soon pushed to the ground and a young German guy is hit and hurt; G.M too gets hit; I see that John H. is in a weak position and make towards him… Many villagers have gathered at a distance… Then Al.M and I both insist that this surely cannot be the way, and everyone cools down… Talks begin; the German fellow is taken to the hospital… In-between two of the shuffles, G.M told me of a dream he had last night: we were both with You and You had a letter from Satprem which You wanted us to take; then You decided to come with us and we supported and carried You, holding You with our love for You… … We are waiting, waiting; as we have been waiting since months… It makes little sense to me; but I am quite blank… This time we wait for the Tasilhdar and the Marakanam Inspector… But I stay: solidarity is perhaps all we have…! … We draw a list of all the plot numbers where we will not accept any interference nor any lease made by the SAS, and we send it to the Inspector… … Back home I find C very upset that she couldn’t be with us; she makes me promise that next time I’ll let her share in… she is wonderful…! *4-3-1980, Auroville: C and I walk over to “Tapoloka”. So many of us are there, it almost looks as if everybody has actually gathered in one place, even those who never attend meetings are there today… Arjun chairs… We are getting to the main topic of the Coop membership when Pete suddenly marches in shouting to us that Yaap, who’d stayed behind to watch the Kottakarai Farm, has just been attacked by people of the SAS… We all start as one: this is a moving moment because, just prior to this, we were unable to come together in our talks and mental approaches and here we are, rushing to protect one of “ours” without a single thought…! Those men have run away towards Bharat Nivas… Some of us are now quite angry; I myself feel it would be a pleasure to drive my fist into that fat smirking SAS contractor when I come upon him…