journal d'une transition

183

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*1-1-1979, Auroville: Early morning, the air is bright, cold and sharp. As I turn on the light, the plug blows off! As I go out, I find the she-dog crouched in the seedlings! From afar, I see men working by Tess’s house; then I see Tess in the garden and ask him what’s happening: he simply is having those men remove one of the bunds that protect the field and keep the rain-water from running off… I explain to him the purpose and function of these bunds and tell him there is always a way to harmonise one’s needs to what is already existing instead of taking away some good work… When I go later to see Dennis and ask him to send all the empty cement sacks, I see that he has planted in one section of the field, just one meter apart, saplings of huge forest trees… I become dizzy… And this went on the whole day! I’m dealing again with that rotten physical mind that keeps drawing idiotic images, brings forward false perceptions, gnaws and picks up the worst of every movement, this wretch, this poor automaton of material remnants of energy… I am being ridiculous as a rooster in this vastness’ eye! Mère, ce qui produit la déformation, ce qui pervertit et fausse la réception de la vibration, c’est le sens de la faute, c’est la culpabilité. Parce que chacun de nous, automatiquement, se sent identifié à ce qui refuse la Lumière ou la Vérité. Alors cette culpabilité nous fait tout recevoir – tout ce qui vient d’en haut – comme potentiellement accusateur, condamnateur, justicier. Mais, à la base de ça, c’est une incompréhension fondamentale de la Réalité. A warp that has been fed and sustained by thousands of years of human thought and “culture”. A complete miscomprehension, misperception of the Real! As long as something in my being holds the belief that the Supreme might be willing to punish me so that I learn and grow, the weaknesses in the body itself will not heal. And it is not enough to go on repeating that the Divine is Beauty, is Harmony, is Truth, is Love, because as long as we are made of this stuff, these attributes call their opposites… One must succeed in PERCEIVING the Divine while having the will and the capacity to change and to grow…

*2-1-1979, Auroville: Whenever I hear You speak about the links or bridges between the different planes, the individualisation of consciousness all the way through… I feel discouraged! I