with Sri Ganesh

Satyam Ritam Brihat Aum Namo Bhagavate.

- 03-07-04:

Vipul has now retracted and refuses to help financially – Sri Ganesh is now to manage without his sister, he says…! This mean, selfish pettiness is a shock, still, even though Madhu’s silence had prepared me for it. Death of the body – is a dislocation of the awareness of the being – both for the one who no longer has a material body and for those who have been most aware of the departed. Each one tries to cope, remedy, compensate, insulate, reject, organize, justify, but it seems to be almost impossible not to allow the ego to put up a veil of some sort. Pain itself is most times a manifestation of the ego – could the psychic being ever experience sorrow if there was no more ego-play? This sorrow comes as a response before the persisting sense of separation – which has been the necessity of the ego, and its curse. You say, Douce Mère, that it is only in the body, while one has a material body here on the earth, that one can undergo the process of change… This is where this departure remains unaccepted and the dislocation most acute: there is this sense of wrong – that Kusum is not continuing, within the material rhythms and limitations and pressures, to change, to progress, to become. In this way, it is as if her two sons have not known her, and yet they have forced her, with their self-centered attachment and claim, to sheer agony…

AUM NAMO BHAGAVATE

- 14-07-04:

It is two months today since Kusum has left her body – and still there is no accepting it. It doesn’t “work”. And I want to fight with her over the confusion she has allowed to take place with both her sons.

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