journal d'une transition

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*1-11-1977, Auroville: We worked till 11.30 am; today I am full of energy and of tenderness for everyone... At 2 pm I went back to Matrimandir with V., we worked with R.O, Th., Andy, Gab. Ruud, till 4.30 pm; it is all ready for the next part of the scaffold but the couplings haven’t come yet. Back here, worked in the garden. Pierre has come to stay for a few days. V. and I had a late dinner, cleaned up, boiled the milk and did the usual chores; she seems to be more and more at my side; on the way home, we lay on the sand pile watching the moon rise… I think I wanted to let the sweetness of the body express itself and not the energy of sexual desire, so the desire came and went for a time; we lay naked, I watched the movements of the mind, how all the problems exist in the mind, by the mind… Later the desire moved us. I let out the semen but I believe I was careful enough… *2-11-1977, Auroville: We worked on the scaffold and cleaned clamps till 4.30 pm. Then V. and I went walking through the fields to Auroson’s Home to visit with Piero and Gl.; Piero showed me his latest drawings on Matrimandir and its surroundings; one of them is extremely beautiful, showing Matrimandir without discs or petals, surrounded with an earth form covered with grass in the midst of trees and small rivers, just as I have always prayed for; I felt deeply happy and grateful to see it, the image of this living wonder we carry within us through Matrimandir… *19-11-1977, Auroville: We worked till 4.15 pm; then I helped Noh, Dadu and R. to put away all the goods at the Kitchen. V. has returned from town, she has bought a new bed-cover… Mother, I’m so incredibly happy here, I live the most beautiful life and sometimes I feel such an upsurge of gratitude that I’ll never be able to express. If only it could help me to change, to grow, to become truly Yours! And this work of the new scaffold is so full, so rich, and so intense; it is such a gift… *20-11-1977, Auroville: I have been reading “Sufi” by Idries Shah… I feel deeply about them, as if belonging to one Family, to that Continuum through history; while I never feel such attraction or affinity towards the Tantrics or any other special discipline… I only know You, and I feel like I know the Sufi too… In the mind and in the aesthetic being I know something of Japan too, and of the Zen way; I know something of China also, from before, and part of the black African growth and heritage; but only the Sufi really answer, and You are the Jewel of it all… *26-11-1977, Auroville: When I want measuring for the wood, I found that I had made a very stupid mistake in the marking of the scaffold and felt really silly and would have wept for it. It will take at least half a day to correct it and there might be difficulties in some places. I told the others about it and they were all very nice and wanted that we should do it today itself… But I can’t forgive this inertia in my mind, and that I’m