journal d'une transition

124

– something which is at the root of my inability to go completely into the movement generated by Satprem through “Pour Tous”, something that again and again makes me hesitate in identifying with it. It is related to the feeling I have of a Consciousness that is utterly ‘cold” to our so-called needs but is all-wise and materially omnipresent, yet that can be sort of understood in different ways and at different levels… On the level where most of my nature lives, I must take the stand of complete refusal of the SAS’s influence, it’s the only healthy thing to do and it’s positive. But immediately behind it is another level, a need not to interfere, not to identify with one way or another, not to be influenced even when it is most attractive with the purity of an absolute and the conviction of a leap taken together into the unknown… I still have a feeling – I can only call it respect – towards the fact that all these elements have been PUT here and that the way is so clearly shown: the real progress that can take all of us together into a possible change is resting on a basis of integrality, all the elements being present together through an evolving situation, under the guidance of a Force that certainly has no sides and no sentiments and is wholly concerned with the truth of the Manifestation. And I find myself in this strange position where at the same time I can easily be a carrier of the flag of an Auroville without the SAS, daring to be alone with the Supreme in the midst of the world, refusing all imposed influences, and yet something in me keeps me away, like saying: “look, this is already done everywhere, it does not change anything, it is just below the level where the only true change is possible!... “ And I found this from You: « … Et l’état véritable… c’est une totalité qui contient tout, mais au lieu de contenir tout en éléments qui s’affrontent, c’est une Harmonie du tout, un Equilibre du tout. Et quand cet équilibre sera réalisé dans la création, cette création pourra continuer à progresser sans rupture… » But then comes the real problem. For that to be possible, a real and constant sincerity of aspiration must be there. And if it is not there sufficiently, then things take another turn and it seems one has then to accept certain necessities of rejection and division in order to keep oneself on the right track… The question then is: are we at such a moment when insincerity has led us to the necessity of cutting off part of the whole, or is it an illusion and one just has to go through the situation as it is? And that quote continues: « … N’est-ce pas, le Pouvoir est limité par les oppositions et les négations (le pouvoir le plus puissant, c’est celui qui domine le plus, mais c’est une imperfection complète!). Mais il y a un Pouvoir Tout Puissant, qui est fait de la fusion des deux – ça, c’est le Pouvoir absolu. Et si Ca c’était réalisé physiquement… probablement ce serait la fin du problème !!!... »

*2-6-1977, Auroville: This afternoon I kept concentrated on: “what to do, what can we do, is there something we can do?”… And today the fatigue comes also from my being in the wrong attitude…