How to call It?

Oh, it’s not at all, it has nothing to do with vital or mental difficulties or any of that.... The body isn’t conscious of that, not interested in that – not interested: when people recount vital or mental difficulties, it finds them quite childish. But the MISERY this body lives in – that’s what is awful. There have even been moments... There is, as I said, a CONSTANT call – constant call to the Divine, and even the strong (how can I put it?) perception of his Presence, so then there is a sort of contradiction.... When it began, I said, "How can You want this?" You see, for a very long time – for years – the spontaneous attitude (it’s not the result of an effort), the body’s spontaneous attitude has been, "It’s my incapacity, my ignorance, my helplessness, my stupidity... that bring about my misery." It considers itself to be solely responsible for all its miseries. But then, that’s the difficulty, it’s this contradiction: "Why, why do You want things to be like this? Why?" So I spend almost entire days and nights in silence (I mean, without speaking), but seeing – seeing... And there isn’t any sensation or perception of a separate individuality; there are innumerable experiences, dozens of them every day, showing that it’s the identification or unification with other bodies that makes you feel this person’s misery, that person’s misery, the misery of... It’s a fact. And it’s not felt as being another body’s misery, it’s felt as your own. Which means it has become difficult to make a distinction on a plane... (Mother stretches her hands out into the distance). There is a plane ever so slightly more subtle than the quite material plane.... So one isn’t complaining about one’s own There is a very clear and spontaneous perception that it’s impossible to extract a small part from the whole and make something harmonious out of it when the whole isn’t harmonious. But why, why?... I can’t understand.... As long as the body felt separate (in the past – very long, very long ago), when it felt itself to be a body separate from others, and more importantly, separate from the Divine, then it made sense: there’s nothing to say, it’s quite natural, it makes sense. But now that for it EVERYTHING truly is the Divine, how, how can that fail to bring about Harmony?... You understand, when on the vital or mental level (and above, of course), you have the experience of identity, you have at the same time the Bliss. Here [in the body], there is the experience of identity, but No Bliss. Why? Maybe if the body had managed to remain separate, it could have felt something – but that’s not true! It would have been a falsehood.... You see, this identity isn’t the result of an effort, not the result of a will: it’s a FACT – a spontaneous fact, I didn’t make the least attempt to get it. It began like that. And this body itself is in a state... which I can’t call "precarious," but which is nothing particularly cheering. It hasn’t resulted in a physical harmony for the body. Because there’s all the rest. Precisely! misery, it’s that EVERYTHING is one’s misery. In other words, it’s not an egoistic complaint.

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