with Sri Ganesh

Glow And you stand in your dance A watchful brother, With tenderness and knowing…

Aum.

- 02-07-10:

… The weather has been wonderfully tranquil for days, hazy, slightly overcast, mild…

… The masons’ team has done the curve of the new wall just as I wanted and I showed them how to place the Auroville symbol at its center and mid-height… … These days the formation often comes at me that I have become old and sad and weak, and there is no longer any hope for me to have any role to play, any place to fill in this, or any other society. And on my part, I judge my performance by Sri Ganesh very harshly; today for instance, the reciting and chanting which is broadcast on loudspeakers from a nearby temple on the occasion of some special ceremony, only reminds me that I have not learnt anything really, least of all to join in that great flow of connectedness with this plane of the gods… I merely go on, like a white monkey, pretending or presuming to be offering some kind of aspiration or devotion or dedication to the Lord through Sri Ganesh… And I probably delude myself in believing that somehow, something of the objective reality of Ganesha, of Ganapati, has acknowledged my service and responds to it… when perhaps all that is actually taking place is merely that I am passing the time till this life is over, since there is nothing for me to do and nowhere to go…

And on and on…

Against all of the above – it is only honest to mention it -, there is a thread of gratitude, of striving, of facing up to universal conditions that must somehow be overcome eventually, and/or transformed – or de- realized…?

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