with Sri Ganesh

- 15-10-09:

… Yesterday evening Selvam phoned the report from the Hospital; the doctors say we can take Parthy away, as long as we continue the medication of strong antibiotics combined with reinforcing elements for his immune system, which they find abnormally defective without being able to trace the reasons for it... I was in a quandary: must I bring him back now, and hope that to be here will boost him up and hasten his recovery, or must I leave him there a little longer so the doctors can monitor him and try to get rid of all remaining infection… In the night I had a bad time: there are areas wherein there isn’t even an aspiration for the light, wherein trust in the divine is simply an alien experience, wherein the only certainty is of a dark emptiness – an absence…

These past few weeks have tossed me every which way – I don’t remember having ever gone through such a crisis…!

Maa, Sri Aurobindo, Sri Ganesh,

I want the truth of harmonious progress And that all forces learn to collaborate To the reign of the soul In Matter… There are still contradictions so deep And so nasty and so mean And contorted and debased And, behind it all, I feel There is a child Crying…

The more I go, the more I find that ignorance is a necessary protection for the majority – for almost everyone, in fact…

Sri Ganesh, You seem always to carry Such certitude –

And I am weak and easily swayed by the perception

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