with Sri Ganesh

truest – whether to live or to die, it had to be within Her atmosphere and at Her feet.

The doctors in Cluny Hospital shifted her to a separate room too early – they probably needed the bed in the Intensive Care Unit; she felt depressed and wanting to just end it all. A septicemia set in. She had to be taken back to the Intensive Care. The surgeon tried another procedure right there, to drain the infection. Madhu was becoming frantic and wanting to take her away to “proper facilities” in Ahmedabad. This was obviously a mad proposition, as she was in no condition to travel. But somehow, the surgeon in-charge of her case agreed to let her be discharged – he was also a Gujarati, I think, and most of this was kept hidden from me and from any of us. Madhu had Kusum transported to the Chennai airport, and flown to Mumbai, and transferred and flown again to Ahmedabad. Before she was taken away, I had to somehow be told and persuaded to let it happen; I was extremely upset when I finally was told of the plan, but there was nothing I could decently do, as I was not related to her by blood; I merely demanded to hear from her directly that this was indeed her own wish and choice. Madhu talked to her alone. Then he came to me and said she was ready to tell me herself. I had come to Cluny Hospital that afternoon with Anand, and we were carrying a large bouquet of flowers, each flower chosen for its significance. Kusum’s bed was right along a sort of inner window that could open onto the corridor; the nurse opened it and we could lean it very close to her. She could see both of us and hold hands, as if we were inside the ward itself. She placed the flowers on her chest, silently, for a long moment; she joined her hands in Namaskar. She said: “I am going and I shall come back in full health… I will tell you…” She was calm, and did not appear to feel too much pain. There was nothing I could say. We held hands again, she saluted Anand very gently. The window was shut again. Madhu did offer to take me along with them to Ahmedabad. I refused. Later, I learnt that he had been so worried that I and “my boys” would prevent him and his son Akshay to take her away that they had arranged for two ambulances to meet them, one of them as a decoy… They left the next day.

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