journal d'une transition

711

the manifestation of something like the Matrimandir Gardens, for You, Mother, to be used by You…!

*26-2-1987, Auroville: I saw a wonderful, wonderful man dancing – humble, simple and full and flowing, perfect and sweet and sober, I’d give him everything, I’d follow him anywhere, for the loving living offering he incarnates, discreet, gentle and so, so present… I do not know his name, but he is a blessed one! Chandralekha came back to Auroville to present her latest creation and perform at Bharat Nivas with her group; there was mixed energy, and not an even quality, but this man was there: I just kept

watching him and loving him… This man has given me delight.

I now wish I had gone to him to thank him and give him something, to let him know how much he gives, but… it is selfish! India still has such living treasures, I am so glad!

*27-2-1987, Auroville: At some point in the night I found myself climbing down some cliffs, where ducts were concealed and ancient tombs hidden in caves, and priceless documents were kept, and I had to manage on my own, hiding from groups of people who wanted to reach in… I do not make the effort of taking detailed notes any more; I am not sure any longer of the purpose it serves… … Take me, Mother, to the true capacity to serve Your Work, Your Incarnation… I want to reach that point when it is no more for the sake of one’s own subjective growth that one lives, when one’s existence actually becomes one’s offering of one’s substance to the Work, to the objective change of condition and consciousness, to the Lord’s own evolution…! Only then does life become worthwhile, and not another waste; only then does it take on meaning and sense… … John H has got the news this morning, on the phone, of his and Su’s father’s death, in Hawaii… Both have been expecting it… I waited for Su to come back from Pondy and told her… *28-2-1987, Auroville: Su asked to stay with me all night; I saw that she wouldn’t ask if she didn’t really need it… … Ar. reported to me, after my work at the Kitchen, on the meeting that was held this morning at Matrimandir: Piero and Roger A have agreed on a glass cover for the sphere! No one else really spoke; it was a sad show! It is very discouraging… … I went over to “Certitude” to bring rolls of film I have shot of “Ravena” to Joy and Edith, for Janaka’s parents; Joy told me of the opinions she has heard expressed concerning “Ravena”’s future, and of a delegation which had come to her to protest against its use as a Guest House, endangering the purity of the canyons…! Sometimes I feel as if this is a place for sick people! … I can’t believe nothing will direct people any more for the sake of Matrimandir’s own truth of manifestation… If it is left that way, to be made into some cheap show… then, what? I need You, I need the conscious One, Mother, Mother…!