journal d'une transition

707

*14-2-1987, Auroville: At times during the day, what was always there supporting the material experience and would rise now and then like a jewelled peacock, seems to come purer and more flowing now, closer to material ecstasy, quietly brimming, nowhere exactly, or somewhere between the body and the whole… It is as if the asanas, and the breathing, do help to clarify some issues… *15-2-1987, Auroville: I had last night another of these wonderful moments of experiencing: flying! This time I was moving freely in the air over a crowded beach, and around structures in the city, learning to control every movement, to increase or regulate speed… I love it! *16-2-1987, Auroville: Ar., who seems to be my provider of knowledge these days, brought me a copy of a fat report published recently, in a limited printing, on contacts made with beings from the Pleiades, and materials received from them, with descriptions of their spaceships; I am not quite comfortable with the quality of awareness that comes through those people who have committed to making contact, while, oddly enough, I feel much more at ease with the precise descriptions of the ships, or of the metals they use: this makes sense… …Ar. told me of the general meeting; some Aurovilians have worked with a young lawyer who has come up with the idea of “collective property”! Everybody seems to be enthusiastic about it. I don’t like the notion! I have no faith in it! I want Auroville to remain the way You have set it, to be the Lord’s property exclusively! But maybe I am just too wild?!!! … I have received a good letter from C; in it she relates some hearsay: L, who visited here last year, would have been told by Diane that she now knew she had been influenced by people and should have stayed, and Auragni, with me…! But I haven’t experienced any change or any opening in her attitude; I can’t say; it is possible, knowing her, she might have spoken that way at a given moment, but it makes no difference as long as she does not have the courage or the honesty to make a sign towards me! *17-2-1987, Auroville: Now that I have, in my experience at least, gone so close to a physical break-down and begun to pull out and reach for a beginning of harmony, physical, corporeal, I can measure more concretely the devastating effect of negative formations, especially when they are emotionally loaded; and I am still struggling for balance as regards G.M’s shunning me… … We went to watch that movie about the Amish community in the US, and it was alright, interesting; but it seems that in order to acquire an identity and a harmonious structure of solidarity, a group must perforce base itself on Manichean principles and be exclusive and discriminatory, which at the same time is its condemn and the end of its progress…!