journal d'une transition

694

From there will begin a new adventure. And until then, nothing will ever be in its true place. Individualities do not matter as such, or in the way we think or conceive of it – they do matter, but… Everything is the same and yet different…

*25-12-1986, Auroville: Su did have a gift for me and it was indeed wrapped in orange flowers, and she was keeping it ready at her house; I opened it after midnight: it is a miniature work, a tiny silver statuette of a dragon, resting on its hind legs and holding in its front paws a crystal globe that contains a rainbow… It is exactly the same work than on the tiny statuette of a unicorn which Auralice had been given just before D.M and Janaka’s passing… I like it so much! I don’t know really what dragons stand for, but they may represent an aspect that matters! … I went later to Barbara’s; she had invited several of us to come by and she had prepared some Christmas gift for everyone; this was a sweet movement on her part… And it was good to be with Arjun and Deepti and John H and Ar. and Su and Akash, together… … Ar. brought me the latest “Auroville Review”: its main intent seems to be to officially allot to Satprem the place of “the one who now does the work”… I don’t know; their attitude is disturbing: it is not a question of whether they are “right” or “wrong”, but that they find it necessary to say such things at all… I can’t help sniffing the old “ego” there, and it has got nothing to do with Satprem; but I do worry, sometimes, that it may affect the quality and the reach of his own experience… *28-12-1986, Auroville: Souvent ces temps-ci il m’est donné de sentir le Chemin. Et combien les termes du Chemin sont simples. Une seule Chose compte ; on peut le dire peut-être ainsi : l’infusion de Conscience fait tout le travail. C’est par le processus de devenir plus conscient que tous les changements nécessaires s’effectuent ; c’est un seul mouvement, une seule réalité évolutive. Et, à certains moments d’expérience, il me devient clair combien tout, tout, et toutes les « difficultés » contribuent à la concrétisation du Chemin, pour chacun uniquement… *29-12-1986, Auroville: It is a blocked mood, waiting just to lie down and sleep; I seem to need a crazy amount of sleep… Also, due to an accumulation of small lies, and little ugly pulls on the part of most of the men at “Ravena”, there is a climate there that is sad, subdued, lacking sufficient trust, and it is not easy to cope with it… And with N I had a scene this morning: I simply had to tell him what I thought of his attitude; and he began to cry… Yet, later in the day, it got better and clearer, and we could recover some of that sweet flow between us… I know it is not easy for him to be my friend, as most people around him, at work or in the village, never seem to loose a chance to be nasty about it, and he must carry it alone… … I met Larry on the road; he’d just had a strange telex from Janaka’s father who claimed having received no communication whatsoever – when it had been on the