journal d'une transition

605

… On the way back I was praying, intensely, to the edge of tears: “Mother, Mother, give someone I can love wholly; You had Sri Aurobindo, Sri Aurobindo had You, You must understand… It is not possible to walk Your Way without the experience of the support of love…” Praying, and praying… I belong to You, I have given myself to You again and again; I cannot go away searching for “my love”: my love is in You, it is with You, it can only come from You… Mother, Mother, do not let me dwindle into an absurd contradiction of all You stand for… Make it right, so that I can grow into You, and not be a shadow… C is sweet and young as ever… while R is obsessed with his new toy, a video camera, and sceptical and unquiet…

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