journal d'une transition

427

Jossie and Ar. come to help us now and then, or stay with Diane whenever I have to go out… John H too gives us a hand…

*17-7-1982, Auroville: Last night was our first night of real sleep. Diane is definitely better and I am not worried anymore. But during the night some thieves tried to steal the pump engine; they’d already cut the wires when Yel heard them and chased them out… Toine has come to see the damage. I have gone to Vanur today to begin the process of registering Ajneyam Auragni’s birth… *19-7-1982, Auroville: Today Auragni has become very agitated; she seems to have acute stomach pain and wants to remain at the breast all the time and Diane gets exhausted and depressed and I get distressed by my impuissance to be of any help… … And now it is Kritu the dog who is sick… … I am reading another book by Lyall Watson, “Histoire Naturelle du Surnaturel”; here is a man who really loves this universe! *23-7-1982, Auroville: Today I have been able to work out at “Last School” most of the morning, and this afternoon I go to the general meeting; it is fairly well attended and I find that everybody present has known that the main topic would be “Aurelec” – I hadn’t known – and the camps are well represented, the trick in fashion being to show tolerance and “openness” to one another…! But I feel the whole thing, the whole direction being taken at present, to be false from the root… When I try to say so in a few words, I am neatly ignored… *28-7-1982, Auroville: Dans le monde les choses semblent à nouveau s’accélérer et on sent toutes ces puissances comme des ressorts prêts à bondir pour une tuerie imbécile et radicale, et, en même temps, quelque chose qui se joue de tous ces instruments « irrésistibles » et pousse, pousse les circonstances vers un certain comble, un point de non-retour… J’ai le manque de Toi, de Ta Présence, de Ton atmosphère physique ; il me semble qu’il n’y a ici que des miettes, que Ton Travail se fait ailleurs – pourtant, rien que de l’écrire, je sens bien que Tu es là…

*30-7-1982, Auroville : La société d’Auroville devient un carcan si étroit que je ne peux plus me mouvoir…

*31-7-1982, Auroville : Cette imbrication de niveaux, d’origines, d’affinités et de réalités, de perceptions et de consciences… ne peut que rendre tout chemin linéaire impraticable… Je n’appartiens nulle part ; je ne puis appartenir qu’à Toi…