journal d'une transition

330

… I persuaded Diane to call a special meeting on Visas work next week, of representatives from every community in Auroville… … I take Annappa to “Dana”; Marcia, sensing I am not too well, has called us for dinner…

*19-7-1980, Auroville: It has rained much of the night, a straight and dense rain; the greens are vibrating, it makes the heart sing…! But G.M is angry at the “greenbelters” because the road to “Dana” is a mess of mire and new gullies are forming…! … Rod comes with the list of signatures for the petition, so that I, who have not signed, may help adding all the correct surnames…! It is gently humorous and friendly; today is such a beautiful day, Nature is pulsing with new vigour and joy and one cannot be grumpy…! … Narad arrives with a cartload of tree saplings for the planting along the road; Annappa joins. Later he and I take a round of the garden here, seeing possible spots for him to build a house; he wants to start a project raising silk-worms: that is what he was doing in Karnataka for the past two years; he says it can work on a small-scale, but it can also be adapted to provide for an entire village and make it self-sufficient…! … The Calcutta industrialist has written a weird note saying he wished to support Navajata’s activities alone and had been under the wrong impression that we were part of Navajata’s team…! We see all the logics fail, the worst as the best; leaving us sometimes nowhere and blind and lost and stupid, and sometimes bringing us closer to a Presence that tears off the veils and draws from one’s whole being a cry of gratitude and recognition… … It seems inevitable that, in the process, a lot of waste must occur… *21-7-1980, Auroville: I walk over to the office; the police try to stop me; I ignore them and they let me in. I must type up these letters, to Kampani and to CPN Singh, on Visas and Quit Notices and such related matters… … Mid-morning a boy rushes in to call me urgently to “Horizon”: there is a fight between P.V and the SAS people; about 20 of them are standing in a field that P.V has let one of his workers to plant and harvest in exchange for maintenance of bunds and compost… But the situation, on closer scrutiny, is not that clear, and I get upset at Dom’s chatting with Mohan of the SAS… … I find A in the house listening to tapes of Krishna’s music; this is a little unsettling: there is so much unexpressed on her part, which I neither understand nor feel comfortable with… It is a relief when she leaves… … Nath comes; she is due to leave tomorrow; it is very quiet with her… … G.M wishes to accompany me to the FRO, to have a sense of the experience I am having doing this work, to share it… He has also decided to try and push through the resistance and has sent his bullock-cart into town, determined to somehow get cement and have it carted home: he is a funny sight to watch! My own tendency is almost the opposite, wanting the Grace to work it all out and acting only as a kind of link now and then… But his way, I have seen, often triggers movements that are revealing as they touch more of life, bring about more collective stirrings; while “my” way tends to concentrate into a subtler harmony. And both together, we are happy…!