journal d'une transition

299

and understood and agreed with him…! So he came to tell me all about it so we could see together what the next step is… And as I pluck flowers, after dawn, he comes again to tell me that M.Z has also been feeling too uneasy about the “decision” and does not want to go to Court anymore…! So! … C and I drive down to the beach and Krishna meets us there and, later, Phil and Chr; C’s stay is ending and I want her to be as happy as possible every minute of it; we swim and rest in the sun… Phil gets bitten in the water, probably a sea- snake, and I have to suck out the blood from the wound, we all laugh over it… … We are working in the Kitchen preparing the dinner; two young visitors are also helping… Pnina walks in! She had no idea she’d find me there, so that was sweet! She intends to stay at the Guest House for a few days… … The general meeting takes place behind the office today; it is so crowded that people stand in bunches outside the windows, leaning in… Diane chairs and brings some working order by focussing first on various practical matters that require our attention… Then a fresh statement of our “4 points Policy”, which P.P has re- worked, is read out and eventually accepted by all. Thereafter, regarding Matrimandir, it is also agreed that we would at once communicate to the authorities our refusal of the status quo they sought to impose on us… Everyone goes along except Piero who becomes enraged at all of us and threatens us with the direst consequences… The “Aspiration” people try to calm him down… G.M and P.G take off to Tindivanam to communicate our position to the DSP, and I resume the dinner preparations with Phil… They return late and tell me that our statement was received and accepted without discussion… … Then, in the night, I have once more that kind of dream in which I become aware of a group of “magicians”, Indian men and women, practitioners of the “black arts” on a tantric line, who are focussed on some of us; Jacq and I are among the targets; it is taking place both in Paris and here in India; I get this time to identify their faces; there is a huge sort of courtyard in one place, like a medieval open market, surrounded with covered lanes or arcades, crowded and bustling, and “they” work there; they look rather ordinary; but, once they realise that I have seen them, the whole thing takes on a different character: the more I pass by, back and forth, while actively withdrawing from any fear, and the more the distance looses its role and the less their power is able to act… It is very interesting… *14-3-1980, Auroville: At Matrimandir this morning a few of us get to work, while an odd assembly has collected under a neem tree on the Gardens hills – SSJ, Jyotiprem, Guru Prasad, the carpenters, Gabrielle, and a cold-looking German fellow… I drive down to Pondy and collect the new passport and the notarial papers from the Consulate; then I go over to the Park Guest House where Pnina has asked me to meet her and drive her back… With her it is open; I feel at home, with depths waiting; a little apprehension is there, of course, before another relationship and the changes it is bound to bring to her… She is vibrant in a quiet and poised manner; there is electricity almost crackling when our hands touch… It is not sensual yet, more of a mutual approach with open eyes; there is validity to it… We ride back. She has chosen to stay at the “Fraternity” Guest House; I get stuck there, the bike refuses to start and I am confused and uncomfortable in an atmosphere which I find compromised, foreign, deprived of light… A.T gives me a lift back to Matrimandir…