My experience of Satprem

I then met Nata, a fraternal and generous man and his companion Maggi, a harmonious woman, strong and peaceful and as if kneaded by her love for Mother. It was agreed that Maggi would ask Mother directly, on my behalf, to confirm Her decision one way or another. Maggi advised me to state that, no matter what Her answer would be I would take it as the expression of Her Grace. At that time, it was said that Mother was experiencing another, new physical ordeal and that we must all try not to add to Her burden. I therefore suggested to Maggi to tell Mother a single word in Her hand, “yes” or “no”, would suffice. And so Maggi went up to Mother’s room at the top of the main Ashram building and I awaited her return near the Samadhi. When she came back down, she pulled me into the small courtyard at the back and explained that she had passed my question to Mother: that Mother had concentrated for about twenty minutes and then had asked whether I had really said it would be a Grace whatever Her answer; Maggi confirmed it. Then Mother took a small square of white paper and wrote: “No”. I found myself a moment later sitting on the edge of the street pavement, distressed and as lost as a condemned man, shaking with silent sobs. It was there that F.G found me. He saw at once that I needed a hand and insisted we must walk down together to the promenade Chabrol where we would surely find Satprem, for it was by then almost evening. Thus I saw Satprem again, at his habitual spot, and sat near him and in a few words told him what had happened. He then said to me: “It is when everything goes wrong that the yoga is moving ahead the faster. Believe me, I know…! We shall meet again…!”

Several factors helped me to accept this necessity to leave: one, very external, was the obligation for me to register for the French Military Service as I was not a

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