My experience of Satprem

The noose

Shortly after my birthday in April 1970 and Colette’s return to France, I wrote to Mother expressing my need to remain and to serve Her and She replied at the bottom of the letter: “It is good. Blessings.” Bearing Her words of acceptance I then submitted my official request to stay, through Kiran at the office of the SAS, which was then the legal sponsor for Auroville – and of which Mother was the President. When about a week later I went back to Kiran in this same office, almost in front of the Ashram, I found on her face sadness and embarrassment; she said that “something” had happened which she did not know and that the permission for me to stay had been withdrawn. She could answer none of my questions and, when I addressed Françoise, I found her reticent and evasive: a complete change of attitude.

The following days were tormented.

I did not understand and the tension I experienced was searing.

One evening as I was standing near the Samadhi of Sri Aurobindo midst the silent throng of the Ashramites, a young woman whom I only knew by sight came up to me, introducing herself as Paola, secretary to Nata who was also an intermediary with Mother; she explained simply that Nata and some others had observed my troubles and considered me to be sincere and offered to help; Nata proposed to serve as my messenger to Mother. It had already happened several times, during this time of rout, that I was warned – mainly by women – that “someone was playing a trick on me”, but it in no ways enlightened me…

13

Made with FlippingBook - Online catalogs