Another Choice

and swells and rises erect to its welcome, breasts and nipples tauten and pucker and the nub pulsates and the deep lips flood in expectation of the entry.

Forms change as energy courses in and through them.

And, in the orgasm, another fleeting link, an unseizeable encounter with the union, with the response we have so long and so much missed – and which still and again eludes us and escapes: it is as if we were dying there too.

But wherefrom do these currents come, from which perennial source have they surged?

Even if, by some effort more or less effective of our personal will – which we must learn to educate and train – we succeed in abstaining from such or such immediate satisfaction, we yet remain totally ignorant of the actual origin of these pulses of energy.

In order to go on living, to exist in the world, we must constantly resort to new draws of energy: first every desire, every need, every attraction and every emotion, then every thought, every idea, every project, every analysis and every engagement of the will and of the intelligence a bit later, bring us into contact with corresponding energies, which have multiple effects in our own individual reality as around us and in others.

We become participants in a complex circulation of the energy, constantly implying loss, exchange and gain.

But of this we have neither the mastery nor the entire knowledge.

***

Almost all of our relationships are built up around a trade.

There is a mutual investment, which evolves from basic bargaining to give and take and on to mutual enrichment.

The object is constant: to obtain one form or another of satisfaction, so as to compensate as far as possible for the fact of our personal mortality.

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